Bullying: Parents may not know if their children are victims, bystanders or even perpetrators of this harmful behaviour. All children have the right to an education in a safe, nurturing environment - and bullying is no exception. With the academic year in full swing, here are some tips on how to start a conversation with your children surrounding bullying in school:
Educate your child about bullying. It can usually be identified through the following three characteristics: intent, repetition, and power, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender, appearance, background or disability. Once they know what bullying is, your child will be able to identify it easily and feel more comfortable telling you if they see or experience it. Potentially ask at some point how they would react if they were bullied (keeping a diary of incidents is a good idea) and what they would want to happen.
Check in with your children daily and ask about school, from classes to friendships to how they’re feeling. Help build your child’s self-confidence by encouraging them to join extra-curriculars or activities they love in your community. This will also allow them to make friends with shared interests. Being a part of their online experience may also help in preventing cyberbullying.
Be a role model. Show your child how to treat other children with kindness, respect and inclusivity by doing the same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated. If they witness bullying, they can offer the victim support, question bullying behaviours and reach out to a trusted adult.
Children often find it hard to talk about bullying because they may feel ashamed or they might be scared of retaliation from the bullies. You may see signs such as anxiety about going to school, having few friends, personal belongings being lost or destroyed, low academic performance and low-quality sleep. If you suspect that your child is being bullied, asking them outright may not get them to open up about what is happening. You know your child better than anyone else, so trust your instincts about taking the best approach. Take small steps and reassure them that you are there for them, and won't jump in and take action without discussing first. This can go a long way to getting your child to confide in you. If anything does come to light, listen to your child actively and calmly. Make sure they know that it is not their fault, that you believe them and that things will get better. Focus on being a support system, making them feel heard instead of trying to immediately find the cause of the bullying, and you can reach out to a teacher or the school for assistance with bullying policy when your child feels ready.
References:
https://www.unicef.org/end-violence/how-talk-your-children-about-bullying
https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/bullying/advice-for-parents/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-bullying