Meaningful connection: the kind that gives us confidence, makes us feel valued, and reminds us that we are never alone. Not only is it possible, but it is critical if we want to reach our full potential. Humans are hard-wired for connection - and yet, with the age of technology, we seem to have lost some of our natural instincts. Feelings of isolation have become widespread, with a third of adults suffering from chronic loneliness. But what if we told you that developing a meaningful connection is as easy as a, b, c? Literally. Here’s how.
First up: awareness. As important as it is to be aware of the world around us, equally important is the world inside of us. Self-awareness means we have to consider the impact of our actions. If you're highly self-aware, you can align your behaviour with your values, manage your emotions, and understand how others perceive you. The benefits vary, from increased influence, to stronger relationships, to better decision-making. In fact, the Eurich Group's research finds that people with high levels of self-awareness are happier and have better relationships. Make a note of your strengths and weaknesses, practice self-discipline, and keep an open mind.
Next is belief - where the improbable becomes quite possible, and infinite possibilities are created. After all, what you focus on becomes your reality. An easy place to start is to complete a quick inventory of your body: What’s your posture like? How are you breathing? Where are you looking? We all get into negative states, which can lead to slouching, shallow breathing, or hanging your head. The next time you walk into a room, make eye contact, shake new and old hands firmly, and stand up straight. You have the power to change how you’re feeling by controlling the way you present yourself - and thereby the way others interact with you.
And finally, communication. If we’re aware of the emotional language of those around us, we can communicate more successfully. Reach out to someone in need of a meaningful connection, and speak to them from your heart. Initiate a coffee and conversation, or a post-work dinner. Aim for comfortable seating and low-noise surroundings, in a location convenient to you both. Set expectations for yourself beforehand. Some useful ones may be: “I will actively listen. I will not interrupt. I will encourage. I will pay attention. I will maintain eye contact. I will listen, deeply and daringly.”
In the same way a person walks through an art museum, glancing left and right at the work on his way through, and declares himself an art connoisseur upon exiting, a meaningful connection is not connecting with someone on Instagram to follow what they’re doing, or on LinkedIn to find out the latest job position they’re holding. But by sifting through the simple connections, and focusing on the important, valued people in our lives, we build meaningful connections that can last a lifetime - no matter your age. And remember: it’s quality over quantity.
References:
https://medium.com/mind-cafe/how-to-create-a-meaningful-connection-with-almost-anyone-770598a7d665